If you noticed the speed at which I ate my dinner just now, you would have been horrified. Personally, i wasn't exactly surprised by how fast I ate. After having only a light breakfast in the morning, I was horribly hungry AND the stall owner took his time to cook the noodles. I was like come on! I'm dying of hunger already lol.
I was left to savour the taste of a great and satisfying meal after merely 10 minutes? I think there's something wrong with me. Soon after, I felt hungry again. So, I stuffed myself with more food.
Is my desperateness for God similar to this then? To I constantly fill up my mind and my life with more of God? As I evaluated my life while on the way home, I realised that my level of desperateness has to grow so much more. Desperateness comes when you see the meaning in your current goal, target or ambition. I can never reach a point in my walk with God where I find that I have had enough of God. NO. That can never be the way. Just like how I stuff myself with food, I need to stuff myself with spiritual food. Just like how much I desired for earthly food to fill up my stomach, I wanna to have the same kind of desire to fill my life with spiritual food.
Everyone has big dreams, ambitions and targets for God that we want to achieve for ourselves or even possibly our groups. Isn't desperateness essential then? But today I pray that my dreams, my ambitions or even my targets will be filled with an increasing level of desperateness, that my desperateness comes because I love God and I want to grow in God. It's so true that it's always about God and never about me. Let humility fuel my dreams, my ambitions and my targets and most of all, let it be aligned to your plans for me, God.
I long for more.
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