Yesterday was a personal day of travelling around Singapore. My mid way check point was at NUS's Macdonalds for shepherding. I was just talking to my shepherd about the many things that have been happening in my life over this past few months when God really touched in me a certain area of my life that just hurt so bad.
The fact about me was that I've been running away from this issue, somehow. I realized once again that it really means a lot to really lift up every single area of my life and to really tell God that you can have all of me; that you can have my whole life. As i was reminded timely by my shepherd, to believe in something is one thing. To be convicted of the same thing is another. I remembered reading somewhere that Man shouldn't use the word "conviction" so readily. To be convicted is in it's very essence more than belief. It's about dedicating and living my life wholly in such a particular way, because I'm convicted about this. Imagine the seriousness of telling God that I'm convicted about this.. But yet I don't live fully for it. Imagine how detestable it would in God's sight.
Growing and splitting the caregroup from 1 to 2, 2 to 4 and so on. It's right isn't it? That's the best way in which The Great Commission is going to be fulfilled. I really believe that is God's heartbeat for his church as well. From the splitting of the caregroup to the splitting of the unit, the district, the service and then the church. That will be the glorious and passionate bride that Jesus is waiting for; the bride that Jesus will come back eventually to redeem.
It's right, but it isn't powerful if we merely believe in it. That the idea of belief and conviction don't seem so far apart but the lining in between is perhaps that a burden and a conviction in what we do is so much more powerful than merely believing in something.
On the way home, I felt so personally challenged to find a burden for this that it really made the inside of me break down as I thought more about it. Perhaps, it's fear. Or maybe it's a lack of courage. Nevertheless, I came down to this conclusion, that it's always going to be difficult anyway, that the Bible states so clearly that we are fighting not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms, but I suppose the difference between fighting a battle and running away is simply making the decision to fight. And all the more it makes sense to fight this battle, because this battle is God's and perhaps he has planned this to happen in my life, right here and right now.
Matthew6:10
Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven
The bigger the problem, the bigger the need for God, the bigger the miracle that God will provide. The bigger the extent of his glory. Let's go!
