I am a child of God, not a fire man.

Haha. What a reminder.

"The place of sacrifice is indeed the place of power."

Wow. Posting this as a reminder.

I suppose we all have thousands of songs in our mp3 or ipod. And the fact is that we never really actually remember to or attempt to listen to all of them don't we?

I had this interesting thought while en route to camp that day. I plugged in my ipod and i decided to just randomly listen to songs; wow to the first song, and a cringe to the second song though.

"How on earth do I have such a song in my ipod?!"

Resisting the urge to change the song, I decided to continue listening to it. As time continued to tick, I couldn't help but admit that the song was really nice.

I wonder if anyone has gone through such a similar experience as me. Haha. I wonder if That's how we respond to God as well. That we wouldn't hesitate to switch off or move on without first listening to everything that God has to say.

Food for thought.

Food For Thought

Brokenness plays a part in everyone's lives. And God allows it to happen.

Perhaps it's really something about brokenness that draws people to God; that there's something more than what we're living for right now.

At the NUS Macdonalds

If I don't look like someone closed up, I sure am. I've really been amazed about how much things I keep inside of me while I insist that I will sort it out with the relevant things or people in my life. And I realized that it isn't very healthy.

Yesterday was a personal day of travelling around Singapore. My mid way check point was at NUS's Macdonalds for shepherding. I was just talking to my shepherd about the many things that have been happening in my life over this past few months when God really touched in me a certain area of my life that just hurt so bad.

The fact about me was that I've been running away from this issue, somehow. I realized once again that it really means a lot to really lift up every single area of my life and to really tell God that you can have all of me; that you can have my whole life. As i was reminded timely by my shepherd, to believe in something is one thing. To be convicted of the same thing is another. I remembered reading somewhere that Man shouldn't use the word "conviction" so readily. To be convicted is in it's very essence more than belief. It's about dedicating and living my life wholly in such a particular way, because I'm convicted about this. Imagine the seriousness of telling God that I'm convicted about this.. But yet I don't live fully for it. Imagine how detestable it would in God's sight.

Growing and splitting the caregroup from 1 to 2, 2 to 4 and so on. It's right isn't it? That's the best way in which The Great Commission is going to be fulfilled. I really believe that is God's heartbeat for his church as well. From the splitting of the caregroup to the splitting of the unit, the district, the service and then the church. That will be the glorious and passionate bride that Jesus is waiting for; the bride that Jesus will come back eventually to redeem.

It's right, but it isn't powerful if we merely believe in it. That the idea of belief and conviction don't seem so far apart but the lining in between is perhaps that a burden and a conviction in what we do is so much more powerful than merely believing in something.

On the way home, I felt so personally challenged to find a burden for this that it really made the inside of me break down as I thought more about it. Perhaps, it's fear. Or maybe it's a lack of courage. Nevertheless, I came down to this conclusion, that it's always going to be difficult anyway, that the Bible states so clearly that we are fighting not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms, but I suppose the difference between fighting a battle and running away is simply making the decision to fight. And all the more it makes sense to fight this battle, because this battle is God's and perhaps he has planned this to happen in my life, right here and right now.

Matthew6:10

Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven

The bigger the problem, the bigger the need for God, the bigger the miracle that God will provide. The bigger the extent of his glory. Let's go!

When You're Down And Out

Some of the quotes that have really struck me in particular over these few weeks

"We can't determine what our results are, but we can choose the right response."

"The worship atmosphere of our service is really bad as compared to the rest. I find myself often complaining, but we are improving. So let's do what is within our capabilities to the best that we can. And shepherding is something that we must do well, because it is within our control."

"We can't choose the circumstance that we tend to fall into, but we can jolly well choose the right response!"

Isn't it always the same principle, that we can always do something about our current predicament? That phrases like I can't do anything anymore, I'm not going to do anymore since I feel I've tried my best, I'm tired of all these and so on, don't seem to make sense. By simply saying all these, we have actually done something or made a decision, perhaps a negative one.

Perhaps, when we're down and out, what we really need to do is pray.

Just Hope

"I am hopeless, no one can help me anymore, that's why I can.."

"There's no hope for this situation, let's just try to save our own skin first."

"Please, looking at the current predicament that he/she is in, it's hopeless, I can't help him."

I don't believe anyone can live in this world, and live without hope. If we were to look deep within ourselves; we see hope in something, somewhere or someone.

Recall with me, that there was this one moment(I don't believe it's one to begin with), that we read an article, watched a drama or maybe even a movie whereby something we read or watched stirred up this particular emotion in us; that we felt at that exact instance, the hairs on one's arms standing or to be even more dramatic, we found ourselves choked with emotions without even knowing why.

We can probably argue that it's our emotions at work. But deep down, I really do believe that despite our emotions, we find ourselves unknowingly and seemingly moved, by that particular line or scene because we do believe in it. We believed in it from the first instance we heard or read it. This is belief and hope in it's very basic essence. Then, like a natural procedure, the reality of this world sets in and perhaps our hearts get hardened or maybe our faith wavers and there goes our hope.

I've really been reminded over this past few weeks of how crucial hope is in one's life. We believe and then we hope. But more often than once, in this world that we're living in, we fail to even get past the stage of belief and from there, goes our hope, our faith.

Perhaps then, the question to ask ourselves is not whether I have belief and hope right now, but instead, what are my hopes and beliefs based on?

I refuse to accept excuses.

Even from myself.

Sunday Morning Rain Is Falling

An analogy that struck me really hard from last Sunday's ministry care group or you would put it, life group.

"Suppose you just bought a new computer game. Let's say War Craft III, and you rush home to install it. With a desperate eagerness to play, you grumble as you run through the installation programme. We are all familiar with the page that says terms and conditions. Without even looking through it, we scroll down to the bottom of the page and we check the box that says "I ACCEPT" and then we proceed with the installation and then finally the game itself.

When one makes the decision to buy the game, we are eager to play it. Do we actually take the time to read through the terms and conditions? More often than once, we think to ourselves, that "Hey, I bought this game so that I could play with it, not to read the terms and conditions man!" In our perspective, payment allows us to disregard the terms and conditions; that we paid to play and not to read the terms and conditions."

"Hey God, I promise that I'll be more disciplined in doing my quiet time... But maybe I'll start another day."

"I really want to grow in outreach to invest in lives, to influence my camp and to eventually impact the world... I am so inadequate, God I think you should use someone else."

One can come up with numerous terms and conditions that are attached to our response. The fact is that if we can disregard the terms and conditions of something simply because we paid for it, then I suppose Jesus can rightfully disregard the terms and conditions that we often have attached to our responses.

After all, Jesus paid the price in full.

God isn't looking for more promise makers, He's looking for people that are willing to go all out to fulfill the yet to be fulfilled promises.

Happy 2010

I'm a little slow with regards to posting this up.

I still remember the scene where the balloons flew away, high and up into the sky. Hanging from the balloons were the thanksgiving points and the new year resolutions belonging to many of us. What a pretty sight.

Looking back at the year 2009, my biggest thanksgiving point would be summed up in one word. Army. You didn't hear wrongly(or in this sense, read), Army.

Pioneering took up much of the first 4 months of 2009. Looking back, it was definitely a great experience. People prayed like mad, fasted like mad, sacrificed like mad, just to see God's power work through his children to touch the lives of many. This is something that I firmly believe in; a seed of faith was definitely planted in each and everyone of the people's hearts through our individual actions and speech. Time flew during pioneering and Tekong was nearly upon me. I'm glad i made the decision to join pioneering. I grew and in the process, found a group of covenanted brothers' and sisters' that I'm sure will remain my good friends in the time to come.

The first 2 months of my army life were spent in Tekong; where everyone had to go through the cruel transition from a civilian to a working soldier. The 2 months that I spent there really saw my character values being put to the test by God, as i struggled to lead a balanced life of serving God, people as well as the nation.

The next 2 months saw me posted to SISPEC, where a whole new set of challenges awaited. i remembered myself telling God that I would serve my SISPEC time in a new light and in a different way. I challenged myself to grow in love, to love people as how God would and to serve people as how God would. Did things become easier? No. God challenged me to love people that I would never go near, to love people that put me down irregardless of what I did. I tried and once again, I struggled.

The last 3 months of my trainee life saw me posted to FDS, which would be my final vocation till I ORD. Hoho. Training here was tough, both physically and mentally. Many a times, I lay on my bed and I questioned God about his purpose and plans for me without actually seeking a reply from God. Looking back, I definitely did better in FDS then i did in the first 5 months of my army life combined, with relation to giving my best in everything that I did for God.

The last few months of 2009 marked the end of my days as a trainee. I learnt so much as a trainee and looking back, those days were the days where the strongest friendships are built, because of the fact that we grow through thick and thin together. Even now, after going through all the tough training, we can all take a moment from time to time, to look back at our trainee lives and more often than once conjure up a smirk as we remember the stupid things that we did before.

Being a commander has it's own challenges as well. Each and everyday, God is still continuing to place situations in my life where my character and convictions are tested.

Do I always pass these tests' that God has created for me? The answer is a simple no. I find myself more often than once, struggling to pass these tests. I guess the greatest take away for me this year, is that more often than once, Man fail to pass the tests that God has set for us. But do we stop and simply give up? Once again, my answer is no. I'm sure that we were created and saved by God to live a life that is victorious. Yes, we may struggle; but by God's grace, we struggle powerfully.