TAYJUNWEIOLIVER

Hope Conference 2011

2011-07-31T19:55:00.001-07:00

I'm writing this down, so I won't forget.

It was an AMAZING conference, one which entailed many emotions, a shift in responsibilities but most importantly, a breakthrough in my relationship with God. I believe that in this short 2 days, God did a new work in my heart; he broke and demanded my heart in the way that only he can and offered me a new one, a fresh heart. Through the mixed array of emotions that I went through, from the indescribable joy to thee uncontrollable tears on occasions, I believed God showed me just a slight part of his heart for people, just a bit of his compassion and his love for people.

The Bible says that we should guard our heart, because it is the wellspring of life. And so I pray that although I may just have witnessed God's perspective of the world for a short momentary moment; his love and compassion that cries out to his people that simply because of the fact that we are all sinners (like it or not) and simply because sin has caused us all to fall short of the perfect standard of God, help me to remember I need more and more of God in my life. To put on God's lenses and view the world.

"I just want to serve.."

Theses was something that struck me deeply. It's not about what i can accomplish for God, but it's about what God can accomplish through me if I offer up everything that I have; just like the small boy in the Bible that offered up his five loaves and two fishes to God. He didn't have much, but God multiplied his willingness to feed the multitudes. Or the poor widow in the Bible, who gave just like how the rich gave, but she gave her all. Her two small coins, probably insignificant mattered in God's eyes.

A promise I made to God, that I'll do everything possible to advance his kingdom, that the victory that was won by the sacrifice of one, will continue to multiply and multiply and multiply, winning the souls of man one by one till the day Jesus returns.

There'll be joy and there'll be tears, but I would rather walk though the gates of Heaven. badly bruised and exhausted spiritually then to walk through knowing that I didn't do my best when I was on earth.

⁵ Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. ⁶ He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.

Psalm126:4-5

What It Means To Be Without God

2011-03-03T10:16:00.000-08:00

Something stirred in my heart today, "That we can achieve nothing, and I mean nothing; all the sacrifices, tears, sweat and hard work will all count for nothing, if God is not with us!".

Something really stirred today.

A burden.

For 2011

2011-01-06T22:27:00.000-08:00

A pure heart that is willing to focus on God and one that is willed towards you alone.

Clean hands that are willing to go the extra mile, to be rooted in your Word, to do your work with faithfulness.

A sound mind that makes decisions, that prioritizes you above all things.

Everything changes, but you remain the same.

A victorious 2011 :)

2010-10-29T06:45:00.000-07:00

I am a child of God, not a fire man.

Haha. What a reminder.

2010-10-12T04:20:00.000-07:00

"The place of sacrifice is indeed the place of power."

Wow. Posting this as a reminder.

2010-10-06T10:32:00.000-07:00

I suppose we all have thousands of songs in our mp3 or ipod. And the fact is that we never really actually remember to or attempt to listen to all of them don't we?

I had this interesting thought while en route to camp that day. I plugged in my ipod and i decided to just randomly listen to songs; wow to the first song, and a cringe to the second song though.

"How on earth do I have such a song in my ipod?!"

Resisting the urge to change the song, I decided to continue listening to it. As time continued to tick, I couldn't help but admit that the song was really nice.

I wonder if anyone has gone through such a similar experience as me. Haha. I wonder if That's how we respond to God as well. That we wouldn't hesitate to switch off or move on without first listening to everything that God has to say.

Food for thought.

Food For Thought

2010-07-04T07:31:00.001-07:00

Brokenness plays a part in everyone's lives. And God allows it to happen.

Perhaps it's really something about brokenness that draws people to God; that there's something more than what we're living for right now.

At the NUS Macdonalds

2010-04-15T09:59:00.000-07:00

If I don't look like someone closed up, I sure am. I've really been amazed about how much things I keep inside of me while I insist that I will sort it out with the relevant things or people in my life. And I realized that it isn't very healthy.

Yesterday was a personal day of travelling around Singapore. My mid way check point was at NUS's Macdonalds for shepherding. I was just talking to my shepherd about the many things that have been happening in my life over this past few months when God really touched in me a certain area of my life that just hurt so bad.

The fact about me was that I've been running away from this issue, somehow. I realized once again that it really means a lot to really lift up every single area of my life and to really tell God that you can have all of me; that you can have my whole life. As i was reminded timely by my shepherd, to believe in something is one thing. To be convicted of the same thing is another. I remembered reading somewhere that Man shouldn't use the word "conviction" so readily. To be convicted is in it's very essence more than belief. It's about dedicating and living my life wholly in such a particular way, because I'm convicted about this. Imagine the seriousness of telling God that I'm convicted about this.. But yet I don't live fully for it. Imagine how detestable it would in God's sight.

Growing and splitting the caregroup from 1 to 2, 2 to 4 and so on. It's right isn't it? That's the best way in which The Great Commission is going to be fulfilled. I really believe that is God's heartbeat for his church as well. From the splitting of the caregroup to the splitting of the unit, the district, the service and then the church. That will be the glorious and passionate bride that Jesus is waiting for; the bride that Jesus will come back eventually to redeem.

It's right, but it isn't powerful if we merely believe in it. That the idea of belief and conviction don't seem so far apart but the lining in between is perhaps that a burden and a conviction in what we do is so much more powerful than merely believing in something.

On the way home, I felt so personally challenged to find a burden for this that it really made the inside of me break down as I thought more about it. Perhaps, it's fear. Or maybe it's a lack of courage. Nevertheless, I came down to this conclusion, that it's always going to be difficult anyway, that the Bible states so clearly that we are fighting not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms, but I suppose the difference between fighting a battle and running away is simply making the decision to fight. And all the more it makes sense to fight this battle, because this battle is God's and perhaps he has planned this to happen in my life, right here and right now.

Matthew6:10

Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven

The bigger the problem, the bigger the need for God, the bigger the miracle that God will provide. The bigger the extent of his glory. Let's go!

When You're Down And Out

2010-03-12T09:45:00.000-08:00

Some of the quotes that have really struck me in particular over these few weeks

"We can't determine what our results are, but we can choose the right response."

"The worship atmosphere of our service is really bad as compared to the rest. I find myself often complaining, but we are improving. So let's do what is within our capabilities to the best that we can. And shepherding is something that we must do well, because it is within our control."

"We can't choose the circumstance that we tend to fall into, but we can jolly well choose the right response!"

Isn't it always the same principle, that we can always do something about our current predicament? That phrases like I can't do anything anymore, I'm not going to do anymore since I feel I've tried my best, I'm tired of all these and so on, don't seem to make sense. By simply saying all these, we have actually done something or made a decision, perhaps a negative one.

Perhaps, when we're down and out, what we really need to do is pray.

Just Hope

2010-02-10T20:47:00.000-08:00

"I am hopeless, no one can help me anymore, that's why I can.."

"There's no hope for this situation, let's just try to save our own skin first."

"Please, looking at the current predicament that he/she is in, it's hopeless, I can't help him."

I don't believe anyone can live in this world, and live without hope. If we were to look deep within ourselves; we see hope in something, somewhere or someone.

Recall with me, that there was this one moment(I don't believe it's one to begin with), that we read an article, watched a drama or maybe even a movie whereby something we read or watched stirred up this particular emotion in us; that we felt at that exact instance, the hairs on one's arms standing or to be even more dramatic, we found ourselves choked with emotions without even knowing why.

We can probably argue that it's our emotions at work. But deep down, I really do believe that despite our emotions, we find ourselves unknowingly and seemingly moved, by that particular line or scene because we do believe in it. We believed in it from the first instance we heard or read it. This is belief and hope in it's very basic essence. Then, like a natural procedure, the reality of this world sets in and perhaps our hearts get hardened or maybe our faith wavers and there goes our hope.

I've really been reminded over this past few weeks of how crucial hope is in one's life. We believe and then we hope. But more often than once, in this world that we're living in, we fail to even get past the stage of belief and from there, goes our hope, our faith.

Perhaps then, the question to ask ourselves is not whether I have belief and hope right now, but instead, what are my hopes and beliefs based on?

2010-01-22T05:07:00.001-08:00

I refuse to accept excuses.

Even from myself.

Sunday Morning Rain Is Falling

2010-01-14T06:56:00.000-08:00

An analogy that struck me really hard from last Sunday's ministry care group or you would put it, life group.

"Suppose you just bought a new computer game. Let's say War Craft III, and you rush home to install it. With a desperate eagerness to play, you grumble as you run through the installation programme. We are all familiar with the page that says terms and conditions. Without even looking through it, we scroll down to the bottom of the page and we check the box that says "I ACCEPT" and then we proceed with the installation and then finally the game itself.

When one makes the decision to buy the game, we are eager to play it. Do we actually take the time to read through the terms and conditions? More often than once, we think to ourselves, that "Hey, I bought this game so that I could play with it, not to read the terms and conditions man!" In our perspective, payment allows us to disregard the terms and conditions; that we paid to play and not to read the terms and conditions."

"Hey God, I promise that I'll be more disciplined in doing my quiet time... But maybe I'll start another day."

"I really want to grow in outreach to invest in lives, to influence my camp and to eventually impact the world... I am so inadequate, God I think you should use someone else."

One can come up with numerous terms and conditions that are attached to our response. The fact is that if we can disregard the terms and conditions of something simply because we paid for it, then I suppose Jesus can rightfully disregard the terms and conditions that we often have attached to our responses.

After all, Jesus paid the price in full.

God isn't looking for more promise makers, He's looking for people that are willing to go all out to fulfill the yet to be fulfilled promises.

Happy 2010

2010-01-04T06:49:00.000-08:00

I'm a little slow with regards to posting this up.

I still remember the scene where the balloons flew away, high and up into the sky. Hanging from the balloons were the thanksgiving points and the new year resolutions belonging to many of us. What a pretty sight.

Looking back at the year 2009, my biggest thanksgiving point would be summed up in one word. Army. You didn't hear wrongly(or in this sense, read), Army.

Pioneering took up much of the first 4 months of 2009. Looking back, it was definitely a great experience. People prayed like mad, fasted like mad, sacrificed like mad, just to see God's power work through his children to touch the lives of many. This is something that I firmly believe in; a seed of faith was definitely planted in each and everyone of the people's hearts through our individual actions and speech. Time flew during pioneering and Tekong was nearly upon me. I'm glad i made the decision to join pioneering. I grew and in the process, found a group of covenanted brothers' and sisters' that I'm sure will remain my good friends in the time to come.

The first 2 months of my army life were spent in Tekong; where everyone had to go through the cruel transition from a civilian to a working soldier. The 2 months that I spent there really saw my character values being put to the test by God, as i struggled to lead a balanced life of serving God, people as well as the nation.

The next 2 months saw me posted to SISPEC, where a whole new set of challenges awaited. i remembered myself telling God that I would serve my SISPEC time in a new light and in a different way. I challenged myself to grow in love, to love people as how God would and to serve people as how God would. Did things become easier? No. God challenged me to love people that I would never go near, to love people that put me down irregardless of what I did. I tried and once again, I struggled.

The last 3 months of my trainee life saw me posted to FDS, which would be my final vocation till I ORD. Hoho. Training here was tough, both physically and mentally. Many a times, I lay on my bed and I questioned God about his purpose and plans for me without actually seeking a reply from God. Looking back, I definitely did better in FDS then i did in the first 5 months of my army life combined, with relation to giving my best in everything that I did for God.

The last few months of 2009 marked the end of my days as a trainee. I learnt so much as a trainee and looking back, those days were the days where the strongest friendships are built, because of the fact that we grow through thick and thin together. Even now, after going through all the tough training, we can all take a moment from time to time, to look back at our trainee lives and more often than once conjure up a smirk as we remember the stupid things that we did before.

Being a commander has it's own challenges as well. Each and everyday, God is still continuing to place situations in my life where my character and convictions are tested.

Do I always pass these tests' that God has created for me? The answer is a simple no. I find myself more often than once, struggling to pass these tests. I guess the greatest take away for me this year, is that more often than once, Man fail to pass the tests that God has set for us. But do we stop and simply give up? Once again, my answer is no. I'm sure that we were created and saved by God to live a life that is victorious. Yes, we may struggle; but by God's grace, we struggle powerfully.

2009-12-17T05:11:00.000-08:00

The lover of my heart, the honour of my life, the power of my soul. All in you.

Perhaps, it really works in a process. First, recognize that God is the lover of my heart. Making God the honour of my life will then seem so much easier. Only then will I really experience the true power of a God enriched soul.

John10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Supersonic

2009-12-13T01:14:00.000-08:00

Something about will power struck me really deeply during yesterday's service. Who can ever deny the power of will power. Who hasn't heard stories of famous sports superstars achieving great sporting feats simply because they believed they could and their strong will power pushed them over the finish line. Personally, haven't you felt particularly hyped up about doing something when the combination of emotions and will power create a surge of victory?

I have. But guess what, will power isn't strong enough. I don't know about anyone else, but I've experienced first hand about how the strongest will power that one may possess is never strong enough to achieve breakthroughs.

I really believe that the answer or the key to achieving things or in this sense to achieve certain breakthroughs in one's walk with God is true repentance. It is not about how how determined we are to achieve a breakthrough; it is about how much we are willing to surrender on to God, so that he can do a transformation in our lives.

God's delight is received upon surrender, not awarded upon conquest.

True repentance brings fruits.

Matthew3:8
Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.

When Everyone's In, I'm Out; When Everyone's Out I'm In

2009-11-29T04:54:00.000-08:00

I've gone passed the stage of simply complaining and moaning about why I'm in such a predicament and I'm ready to serve rather than just complain.

I promise that I'll give my best to all of you and i mean every single one of you, that even as we set our sights on the Christmas harvest this December, I'm in this together with all of you people! I think fasting and prayer are definitely part and parcel of our daily Christian lives and I feel that even as we head down this stretch to Christmas, the need for these becomes more and more apparent. I will pray. I will fast as well. I will pray for all of you guys. I will fast for all of you guys as well.

Shall we invoke a greater sense of desperation within each and everyone of our hearts. Desperation's really been the word that God has been putting in my heart recently. Ever seen the actions of a guy who is desperate to win the heart of the girl he loves? Seen what people will resort to when they are desperate for survival? ( 2012 lol -.-)

Ever seen what Christians are capable of, if we are desperate for a Biblical cause?

Let's answer this last question together this upcoming Christmas.

2009-11-22T23:21:00.000-08:00

Growing old is natural, growing up is intentional.

Persistence

2009-11-09T04:20:00.000-08:00

What is love? Or maybe, what does one define as loving someone?

Do share with me your views if you happen to chance upon this.

2009-11-05T06:41:00.000-08:00

God is either God of all, or he is not God at all.

I Love What I'm Doing Right Now

2009-11-02T06:50:00.000-08:00

After been awaken for the umpteen time, I cursed as I leaped off my bed and began changing. For those who hate been awaken while you're sleeping, you'll understand how I feel. That was a classic scenario of what I had been going through for the past 2 weeks as training.

I won't pretend and say that I was a perfect Christian during the past 2 weeks when i was undergoing training. The fact is that at times, I felt that I was so distant from God; that I was someone that wanted to do God's work, but yet I wasn't even catching God's heartbeat. Ironic, isn't it.

I remembered the scene where I laid on my bed in camp and as I prayed, the inner me broke down "Training's tough. I'm struggling to come to terms with what you have planned for me. Why can't things go the way I want them to? I feel like giving up!" I remembered myself picturing an imaginary wall in front of me and punching it with frustration, demanding God to give me an answer to all my questions immediately.

And God provided an answer.
I'm very sure that many of us are familiar with the song "no eye has seen".
The chorus is often one in which it is a man to God version, "Jesus take me in your hands, and make me all that you want me to be. Jesus help me understand, my purpose and what you can do through me, fulfilling my destiny."

Ever heard the God to man version?
"Let me take you in my hands, and make you all that I want you to be. I will help you understand your purpose and what I can do through you, fulfilling your destiny."

The inner being of me broke down as God reminded me of what I had solely lacked all this time. Amidst all my complaints, grumbles and my own short sightedness, I had failed to wait for God's perfect timing and God's divine touch; that sometimes the best solution to our problems is to simply wait on God and listen to him.

Proverbs19:21
Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

That's why I love what I'm doing right now.

My Dusty Bunk Talk

2009-09-27T03:31:00.000-07:00

I had a talk with my bunk mates in camp a few days ago. We shared about our lives, from the fun moments in secondary school to the serious moments of studying as we approached O Levels. The same thing was true for our JC lives, fun during normal school days and the exam stress during the A Level period.

And then we came to army... and our faces changed. Amusing.

To be honest, I thought I couldn't make it past O levels. I thought i was going to die when A Levels approached. i thought it was the end of the world when it was time to enlist for national service. But in one way or another, I survived.

A popular world saying goes like this, "Time waits for no one". Did I get that right? Time somehow always brings us into and through things. No matter how tough a situation will be, it would still pass.

Many a time, I have the get through it mentality. Just make it pass this term and it'll be holidays. Just make it pass this giant exam and I'll be free for at least 6 months. Just make it pass this week, and I'll book out. The fact is that God calls for his children to do more then just all of this. Time perhaps an enemy in this area; that we can get through things simply because time will bring us through it.

Have I at times left God out of things, that God called his children to do the best they can and not just simply to get through it.

Genesis25:19-34
19 This is the account of Abraham's son Isaac. Abraham became the father of Isaac, 20 and Isaac was forty years old when he married Rebekah daughter of Bethuel the Aramean from Paddan Aram and sister of Laban the Aramean.
21 Isaac prayed to the LORD on behalf of his wife, because she was barren. The LORD answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant. 22 The babies jostled each other within her, and she said, "Why is this happening to me?" So she went to inquire of the LORD.
23 The LORD said to her, "Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger."
24 When the time came for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb. 25 The first to come out was red, and his whole body was like a hairy garment; so they named him Esau. 26 After this, his brother came out, with his hand grasping Esau's heel; so he was named Jacob. Isaac was sixty years old when Rebekah gave birth to them.
27 The boys grew up, and Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was a quiet man, staying among the tents. 28 Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.
29 Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished. 30 He said to Jacob, "Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I'm famished!" (That is why he was also called Edom.)
31 Jacob replied, "First sell me your birthright."
32 "Look, I am about to die," Esau said. "What good is the birthright to me?"
33 But Jacob said, "Swear to me first." So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob. 34 Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left. So Esau despised his birthright.

I am a child of God; that is my birthright. Before anything, I am a child of God. Above all else, God created me to be his child.

The Alarm Goes Off

2009-09-13T02:51:00.000-07:00

"Our job is not to castigate unbelievers but rather to humbly look within our own ranks to see if we church people area ctually living out the Christian life as God intended."
Jim Cymbala

I'm the same as everyone else. At times, I'm selfish, I'm self-centred and I'm worldly. I'm not superior, I'm just privileged to be given a second chance.

Here I am, send me.

2009-09-04T11:14:00.000-07:00

For all honor and blessing and power, belongs to God solely and only.

The Small Things

2009-08-30T04:43:00.000-07:00

Character is manifested during the great and significant moments, but it's built up in the small moments of life.

Something Small.

2009-08-23T01:38:00.000-07:00

I take too much for granted.

That was the key message that I really received from God during the past week in which i attended the Global Conference. Global Conference was really a good time of reflection on the foundations of my Christian walk; a double check if I have been living the right Christian life.

I found myself responding in almost every area possible, that there's so much to grow in, so much to seek God for and so much to ultimately pray for.

At times, I take the Bible for granted. That's why I haven't been studying or reading the Bible as much as I should be doing.

Often, I take Christ for granted. That's why I haven't been living a Christ-Centred life worthy of God's calling.

More often than once, I take the Holy Spirit for granted. That's why I fail to live out the fullest potential of a Holy Spirit empowered life.

And the list goes on. Once again, God reminded me of his awesome grace and mercy. That we got what we didn't deserve and ironically we didn't get something that we deserved.

I have this new habit of writing instant thoughts that I have down in my notebook, so that I don't forget.

I wrote this down, "It's a privilege to worship you, almighty God. It's a honour to glorify your name."

A timely reminder.

Definitions

2009-08-10T09:48:00.000-07:00

Effort reflects how true and how deep one's desire is.

What Is Really Needed

2009-08-02T02:36:00.000-07:00

A Christian needs to pray when one finds he or herself loving the things of the world more then God.

A Christian needs to pray when one finds that he or she is making decisions purely on emotions.

A Christian needs to pray when one finds that he or her schedule is so packed that he or she does not have time to slow down, take a breather and spend time with God.

I need to pray.

The Greatest Of All Is...

2009-07-25T23:12:00.000-07:00

Love isn't a feeling alone. It's a decision, a commitment. The ability to follow through on the decision to love when things or circumstances vary.

Much can be said about love, I've experienced it first hand as I set myself to grow in love over the past few weeks. What happens when one opens up to another and does not the get desired response? The answer is to continue loving. What happens when one prays continuously for a person but yet sees no fruits in his attempts to draw him closer to God? The answer is still to continue loving. What happens when one finds it impossible to love a person any longer? Ironically, the answer is again to continuing loving.

I was reminded that love comes hand in hand with perseverance.

I was glad I made the decision to grow in love, I have so much more to grow. Till the day, Christ brings his work to completion in me, I will seek and desire to love more.

1Corinthians13:1-3
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Your Will, Not Mine.

2009-07-19T05:08:00.000-07:00

It's been more then a month since I last updated my blog. It's been a really hectic few weeks, both in terms of military life as well as my spiritual life. God has really been speaking big time over this past few weeks and I've really learnt a lot in addition to enjoying myself big time.

Matthew25:14-28
"Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money.
"After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.'
"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'
"The man with the two talents also came. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.'
"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'
"Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.'
"His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.
"Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'

God, help me to remember that all that I have right now was given so that I may use it to glorify you. What is mine, is not mine. It is yours. Help me to remember that this life was created to give you praise; this life was created to worship you. Most importantly, this life was created to love you and to do your will.

To one who is faithful with little, more will be given. To one who is faithful with little, God will add on.

Help me to be faithful, God.

Well Said

2009-06-28T04:20:00.000-07:00

1Corinthians13:13
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

3 things I cannot care less about. 3 things that I need to value above all.

A new mindset. Gogogo.

All In You

2009-06-27T09:47:00.000-07:00

In you, I find my peace. In you, I find the refreshment that I desire.

In you I find my everything.

Shout out loud!

2009-06-18T01:28:00.000-07:00

Two words that I have been experiencing the true meaning of over the past few weeks or perhaps months. Trying and Training.

Trying
This person is particularly irritating and yet you want me to meet him up, love
him and spread the gospel to him?
I already have so much to do and yet you're asking me to come for caregroup/service
or meet up people.
I am tired and super emotional right now. I don't feel like doing anything.

But because Jesus would, I'll try to be like him and do what he would do.

These are examples of real life situations or statements that are privately tell God or myself. And they are pretty frequent too. I've come to realise that it's pretty tough trying to do or accomplish something for God if we let the word TRY remain in our vocabulary as we serve God. The word try serves as an excuse, more often then not for me to give up on things. "I've already tried and I don't think I can take it anymore. It's really emotionally and physically draining (sometimes it really is tiring -.- lol)"

Training
Ever participated in a competition, be it a sports related one for the physically outgoing, or for the intellectual and arts based people, a competition? Recall the moments and times leading up to the competition/contest where you put in every single ounce of energy and brain power that your body or brain can muster all for the sake of victory? Recall the times when training was not easy, when you ended up with wounds all over, going to school and falling asleep because you were too tired or even the times when you almost went near to a breakdown due to stress because certain things in the midst of training were not going your way. Recalling all this, the word TRAINING is indeed intimidating.

Yet, as I was reminded on a faithful afternoon in camp, the Bible commands us, his children, to undergo strict training.

1Corinthians9:25
Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.

Replacing the word try with train, "But because Jesus would, I'll train to be like him and do what he would do." When I replace the word try with train, I find that I have less excuses to give myself. Whenever I feel tired, drained or perhaps even emotional, I am reminded by God that that is exactly what training is all about. When have you ever trained for something and tough times are absent?! Of course training isn't all about going through hardships and challenges, you don't get hurt, tired and emotional all the time! Savour the good times, when you see growth and you hit the goals or accomplish the task that you want to do for God. Perspective is probably the key word here. Seeing and comprehending the value of what you are doing will determine the amount of effort one puts into doing things. If I love God, I need to recognize that the things of the kingdom take priority over all else and I will put in my best effort to train for the final outcome; a crown that will last forever.

Personally, I need to grow a lot in love. Undergoing training would mean I need to learn to love people with the right kind of love, in the right way, with the right degree of love at the right timing. I won't try to love people, but I'll set apart my life to train and to learn how to love, even in the midst of tough times.

Above all, I was reminded of the most crucial fact, that one may replace the word try with train and do all things with the best effort. However, that does not exempt one from failure. Man are weak and definitely fallible. But one thing is for certain, God will save the day. Even with victory, recognize that it is ultimately all about God's grace and not one's personal effort.

Something I didn't deserve. Grace.

An Addiction

2009-06-06T10:05:00.000-07:00

Galatians1:10
"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."

Say no to being an approval addict.

Solitude

2009-05-24T02:13:00.000-07:00

Some prayers that I have been making over the past 2 weeks

God, can you please,

"Let us lights out earlier
Send some clouds so that the weather will not be that hot
Let the rain not come
Please keep the wild boar away
Can you please make this day end quickly
Can I not get confined
Can you please make me less irritated with that person"

And the list goes on and on.

This past 2 weeks have really been a true test of my character both outwardly and inwardly. I wouldn't waste time trying to pretend that I've been a really great salt and light as a Christian in camp. How many times have I refused to help someone that was in need during difficult times? Or take into account the fact that I couldn't be bothered with how others were faring as long as my welfare was ensured? This is just merely the tip of the ice berg.

Every day, as I lie on my bed (or whatever that was my bed that particular night) I would reflect and evaluate my life and I would realise that once again I've failed God's test. It doesn't matter whether I failed it badly or I just feel to make the cut. Actually, you can't measure it this way. It's still a FAIL.

To end of a slow and difficult week, I got additional confinement for the entire Saturday. How fitting it is that perhaps the most powerful God-moment that I was to realise and to eventually appreciate should come on a Saturday night when I'm stuck in camp. Tekong is particularly peaceful when you are confined. Having so much time, I decided to spend solitude time with God.

In solitude, I laid aside the things of the world and with that, nothing defines who I am, just me, my sinfulness, my desire or lack of desire for God.

As I desired, I prayed. I repented and I made a certain few promises to God.

As John Ortberg wrote,

"The ending of the movie Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs. The dwarfs gave their home and risked their lives for this foolish girl who eats the forbidden fruit and falls asleep and breaks their heart. And then the prince comes and awakens her with a kiss and she runs off with him without her regret. That was her destiny.

And that is ours too. Each of us has tasted the forbidden fruit. We have all eaten the apple. We have all fallen under the curse. We are in fact, in a kind of living death.

But still the Prince comes, to bring freedom from the curse, life from death. Still the Prince comes, to kiss his bride. And every once in a while, somebody, somewhere, wakes up. And when that happens- that's life."

I don't want to live in this personalized dream any longer. A life to the fullest.

What's Your Take?

2009-05-01T20:46:00.000-07:00

I seem to be forever sleepy whether I'm in camp or I'm out of camp. So much for 7 hours of undisturbed rest.

I asked myself this question in camp recently "Has my spiritual life been going well over this past few weeks?" The first and natural answer would definitely be yes. That was indeed my answer. After all, I had been spending regular time with God, praying and even journalling consistently and regularly.

How wrong I was. I had totally missed the point. A consistent reading of the Bible, daily prayer or even daily journalling does not determine how well a person is doing spiritually. Don't get me wrong, all this actions are perfectly great, they are definite essentials if one wants to experience God to the fullest. However, all this essentials merely empowers one to enter into God's presence.

"Have I grown in love for God and for people?" If I haven't been able to love people and most importantly love God more, then my spiritual life definitely has not been going well. If I fail to love, then no matter what I do, I haven't grown much.

Break my heart for what breaks yours.

What Are Your Values Based On?

2009-04-24T16:10:00.000-07:00

It's 630am in the morning and I'm wide awake. Normally I wake up at 5am -.- Ironically, even while one is in the army, you seem to have a lot of free time in between trainings/lectures etc. For me, more free time means more time to think and ponder over things.

What are your values based on? Every organization, group or even a person has his or her own set of values or some would render it, morals. I've come to experience this to a greater extent that every set of values/morals has it's own good points and bad points. However, the standards do differ significantly from time to time. Don't get me wrong, I think that having your own personal set of values is really great, but if one is unable to maintain the standard of your own values as circumstances vary, then perhaps we should be looking to another source to serve as a guideline on how one's values and morals should be like.

In my opinion, the source or answer is God through and through. After going through a certain transition period of my life, I've even more convicted that yes, the answer is still God. God is the only thing, if you want to classify it as an object, that does not change over time or with circumstances. Looking for something to base your values and morals on? I sincerely recommend the Bible.

Similarly in one's Christian walk, from day one, we have been taught/encouraged/nagged at to live by the Word of God which is essentially the Bible in itself. Definitely there are times when we choose not to obey or live by the Word and live our own life perhaps based on our own standards or on the world's standards. All this, isn't bad. It's perhaps enjoyable at times but I really believe that if one does not base his or her standards on something that is unchanging and lives his or her life, then we are really missing out on what life is really about. Try it out and see the results! (i sound like an advertisment lol)

Let the Word Of God take root in my heart. Struggles are part of a daily life routine, but the Word Of God enables me to struggle powerfully.

Hocus Pocus Focus

2009-04-08T09:05:00.000-07:00

After a quick get away in kukup, I'm back and I'm contemplating my last few days before i enter army. I'm allowed to rant, cause i haven't been into army before and I particularly hate camps during my uniform group days. On the last count, it's about 3 days left with slightly less than 72 hours...

On a side note, it's so hot and the undeniable fact is that my hair is long (okay depends on your perspective) I just realised I'm going to lose all my hair. Such a shame, I really like my hair now and I'm going to lose it. As I'm blogging this, somebody seems to be telling me, "OF SO MANY THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT, YOU'RE WORRYING ABOUT YOUR HAIR?!"

How true. The focus clearly isn't right and this means imminent danger. Well, I have 3 days left to do something about it, to ensure that my eyes are fixed and focused upon you. If I want to be a child of God that has a growing relationship with you, I want to give you my all. I want to surrender on to you everything.

Half hearted people achieve nothing.

Sink In

2009-04-05T07:36:00.000-07:00

Fruits that are bear to last. Fruits that are borne, so that they can reproduce themselves. As I shared about God's love and the ever present availabliity of God's presence to my friend, I was reminded about how much it means to really enter God's presence each and every single day and how much it really means to comprehend and live it out in my own personal life the phrase "God's love triumphs over my unworthiness".

I don't enter into God's presence only during my daily devotional time with God or only during my weekly caregroup or only during the weekly service. I remain in God's presence all the time. In fact, i feel that the term of entering and exiting God's presence is weird and perhaps illogical. Each and every day, God, take me deeper into your presence. I want to remain in you, for apart from you, I have no good thing.

Let your love triumph over everything single thing in my life, good or bad.

John15:5
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

Say Your Goodbyes

2009-03-29T23:07:00.000-07:00

Some photos that i found in my computer. I think camp photos really show how much this family of God has grown.

Camp photos in chronological order:

Not forgetting the times when the guys had so much fun doing nonsense.

They say a picture speaks a thousand words. I must have said many in this post alone. I shall end off with a few. Thank God for the privilege to have been in this unit. I'm proud to have been part of this God-anointed family that follows after God, no matter what happens.

Haggai2:9

'The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,' says the LORD Almighty. 'And in this place I will grant peace,' declares the LORD Almighty."

What Can I Do

2009-03-25T10:03:00.000-07:00

What Can I Do

Verse 1:
When I see the beauty of a sunset's glory,
Amazing artistry across the evening sky
When I feel the mystery of a distant galaxy
It awes and humbles me to be lovedBy a God so high

Chorus:
What can I do but thank You,
What can I do but give my life to You
Hallelujah, hallelujah
What can I do but praise You,
Everyday make everything I do a hallelujah
A hallelujah, hallelujah

Verse 2:
When I hear the story of a God of mercy
Who shared humanity and suffered by our side
Of the cross they nailed You to, that could not hold You
Now You're making all things new by the power
Of Your risen life

Let everything that I do, be an offering on to you.

Salt Water Please!

2009-03-23T09:00:00.000-07:00

My u l c e r hurts -.-

Privilege Please!

2009-03-21T21:36:00.000-07:00

Philippians1:6
6being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

One of my favourite verses in the Bible and one that I cling on to a lot. I know that everything is in your perfect plan. I know that fruits will definitely come; the harvest will soon be reaped. But as my time runs out, if it's within your perfect plan for me, I ask for this privilege to be part of the group of workers that will reap the harvest.

Love

2009-03-18T10:02:00.000-07:00

Psalm 84:10
Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

Everything must stem from love. If I can't be diligent enough to seek after more of God's word everyday, I need to LOVE the Word Of God. If I can't bring myself to love others, I need to LOVE God more. Most importantly, if I want to serve God, I need to LOVE God's presence.

With You

2009-03-16T09:03:00.000-07:00

Discouragement is often the word that is used to describe one's feelings when things don't go your way. When you expect and things don't go your way, how cliche would it be to say "I'm discouraged. Why? I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. Why doesn't things go the way I want them to go?!"

As I sat pondering, I came to a conclusion. There must be more to this. As one ponders about why things don't work out, that's really great. But I need to move on to the how; the way to solve or remedy the problem.

1 Chronicles 4:10
Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request.

I will make the full prayer. Not just the part about you blessing me and enlarging my territory, but let your hand be with me as well. I would rather have God's favour and anointing with me and no fruits (i sincerely hope that won't happen lol) then to have fruits without God's anointing and favour.

Gogogo!

Silence

2009-03-15T09:56:00.000-07:00

I really think that open houses are a waste of time. A large crowd and a whole host of things that I'm not really interested in. All this, is strictly in my opinion though. Please don't feel offended if you're a fan of open houses.

Alright, so it's the end of yet another day. I really have so much free time. No exams, no studies, no work, no army training(at least for now). Am I the envy of many? Haha. Yet, I do struggle with a certain problem that many people do face. I try my best to slot in things everyday in my schedule, so that I won't be idle and do nothing at all the whole day. And my day really becomes more meaningful, but definitely tiring and busy. It's really true for many of us that having a busy and hectic day is perfectly normal, to say the very least. Different people carry different burdens, problems and of course joy, but I think that at the end of a busy and hectic day, an important question to ask myself is "Have I lived this day with God today?"

That was a probing question that I asked myself as I was on my way home. Sometimes, it's really hard to face up to the fact that even as I schedule my day to be filled with meaningful things, God is not totally in the picture at times. God's voice is not really heard at times. Yet, God speaks all the time. It's really about how much I desire and yearn to hear from him.

Just as how Mary sat at Jesus's feet and listened, I need to slow down, stop and listen to God's voice.

I pray for my spiritual eyes and ears to be opened. To see and hear your spiritual truths as I live each day of my life. I pray for a heart of humility to receive what you have planned for my life. All in all, I pray for greater obedience that even as I listen, I need to obey.

The Big Grassland

2009-03-11T09:14:00.000-07:00

The world and critics will say "The pastures on the opposite side are greener, lusher and nicer or simply, the grass is always greener on the other side."

I thought hard about it and I'll say "No, I prefer my current patch of grass, and in my opinion, looking at my own life, I daresay the grass is NOT greener on the opposite side."

As I was reminded today, God's favour is always upon those who's hearts and lives are loyal and fully committed to him. Yet many a times, I tend to ask God things like how come I don't seem to have God's favour etc. I was once again reminded today that hey, due to our own limited knowledge and perspective, what we comprehend as God's favour or God's apparent lack of favour may not be God's favour as a whole. Instead of whining, complaining or even being emotional, I want to instead take the reverse approach.

Look at the things around and about me, and give thanks. An increase in faith, not to be locked in the natural but to be focused on the supernatural.

Practical Surrender

2009-03-09T06:19:00.000-07:00

During Saturday's service, i happened to take a glance (i wasn't peeping lol) at the large screen during altar call and i was amazed by what i saw. Just as how the song went, "so I'll stand with arms high and hearts abandoned, in awe of the one who gave it all", hands were raised in worship to God throughout the auditorium. Wow, is the word to describe the scene.

I think it's really great to see people raising their hands in total surrender to God during worship. But then again, at that very instance, I asked myself this question, "Does one's surrender stop merely at the act of raising hands during worship?"

Obviously not. I think the act of raising one's hands is really great, but if we stop there then I'm afraid that this act of surrender will amount to nothing. My decision to surrender my life to God has to always be backed up with actions. Do I still refuse to change when God uses people to speak into my life, into areas that I need to change? Do I still restrict entry to God in certain areas of my life? Do I surrender this areas to God only during the time of worship? I'm a imperfect person but yes, I want to make every effort to surrender every area of my life to God. It may not always be comfortable, enjoyable or even logical in my perspective but I know it's essential.

I raise my hands not during the chorus and bridge of a song when the atmosphere is emotional, or when everybody is doing so. I lift my hands in surrender because I realize that I need to reach out to you even before you touch my heart during worship. I need you God, you don't need me. So I'll cherish this second chance that is given.

Gratefulness; Thanksgiving

2009-03-07T21:14:00.000-08:00

Thank you.

The title just about sums it all up.

Tough Times Don't Last, Tough Men Do

2009-03-06T06:51:00.000-08:00

Revelation5:12
In a loud voice they sang: "Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!"

Choosing to face the problem with God will never break you, instead it'll make you.

Faith Beyong The Norm

2009-03-05T08:10:00.000-08:00

I can't get to sleep and I'm feeling hungry. I'm sure a lot of you can identify with me. Probably because of my super long afternoon nap, don't be jealous!

We're officially 14 hours away from release time. I ask for faith beyond the norm. Often, God isn't really interested in the current situation, he's more interested in you; how and what he can change or do in your life.

Doors that God open, no one can shut. The reverse is so true as well. Doors that God choose to shut, no one can open.

Friday the 13th

2009-03-03T08:12:00.000-08:00

Almost every single person of age, is talking about it. A LEVEL results are coming back this Friday. Okay, it's not the 13th, it's the 6th. But anyway, I decided to blog about it as well. If I say I'm not nervous, I would be lying. But then again, I'm not that scared as the day looms nearer; a day closer to the so called disaster day. Somehow I find it exciting (I'm not crazy -.- lol)

It's perhaps really true that the biggest obstacle or challenge that we have to overcome, is not the fear of what we will be receiving on Friday. Am I going to do well? Am I going to screw up? Am I going to meet my own expectations? Or am I going to be able to enter university? All this questions will definitely be running through every single one of our heads as we approach 230pm. The biggest challenge or obstacle that we have to overcome, in my opinion, it is how are we going to respond after we receive our results. Many a time, this is the ultimate trap that we always fall into. If I screw up, will I blame it on God? Will I use it as an excuse to have self pity on myself and soon after leave God? On the contrary, if I do well, will I really attribute this victory to God or to myself? Will I because of this, come to the conclusion that I don't need God and there are so much more great and enjoyable things for me to do out there, and in the process forget about God?

This is the greatest challenge. It's how we respond after we have received our results and comprehended where our future lies from that moment on. Who wouldn't want to have good results? I would love to. But I know that not everyone achieves fantastic results.

So today, I pray that even as the day draws closer, I pray for an increase in faith even before I receive my results. Faith in you and not in myself. If somehow, I have a inkling that I'll really screw up, I want to change this mindset. Your power and grace shall not be underestimated. My faith is in your grace and power. On the other hand, there's always an inkling that you may not do badly as well. Self confidence is great, but without humility to go along with it, it becomes self exaltation. And I know how detrimental it can be. I pray for greater humility to go along with this greater faith that i ask.

I'm a bit greedy for prayer needs. Haha. I pray that after I receive my results, I pray for peace and assurance. That all in all, your name will still be lifted high above all things. I may not be able to comprehend at that very instance what you're doing, but I will trust in you, for you hold my hopes, my dreams and my plans.

Exodus 14:13-14
Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

Tick Tock

2009-03-02T08:00:00.000-08:00

tick tock tick tock tick tick tock,

My time is running out.

Well Said

2009-02-28T09:24:00.000-08:00

James 2:17-19
In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.

Well said indeed.

A Great Dinner

2009-02-27T09:06:00.000-08:00

If you noticed the speed at which I ate my dinner just now, you would have been horrified. Personally, i wasn't exactly surprised by how fast I ate. After having only a light breakfast in the morning, I was horribly hungry AND the stall owner took his time to cook the noodles. I was like come on! I'm dying of hunger already lol.

I was left to savour the taste of a great and satisfying meal after merely 10 minutes? I think there's something wrong with me. Soon after, I felt hungry again. So, I stuffed myself with more food.

Is my desperateness for God similar to this then? To I constantly fill up my mind and my life with more of God? As I evaluated my life while on the way home, I realised that my level of desperateness has to grow so much more. Desperateness comes when you see the meaning in your current goal, target or ambition. I can never reach a point in my walk with God where I find that I have had enough of God. NO. That can never be the way. Just like how I stuff myself with food, I need to stuff myself with spiritual food. Just like how much I desired for earthly food to fill up my stomach, I wanna to have the same kind of desire to fill my life with spiritual food.

Everyone has big dreams, ambitions and targets for God that we want to achieve for ourselves or even possibly our groups. Isn't desperateness essential then? But today I pray that my dreams, my ambitions or even my targets will be filled with an increasing level of desperateness, that my desperateness comes because I love God and I want to grow in God. It's so true that it's always about God and never about me. Let humility fuel my dreams, my ambitions and my targets and most of all, let it be aligned to your plans for me, God.

I long for more.

A Life Of Surrender

2009-02-26T06:08:00.000-08:00

John 3:30
He must become greater; I must become less.

Humility.

A Long Ride Home

2009-02-25T08:10:00.000-08:00

There's seriously something wrong with SMRT's service line. It took me more than an hour to get from pasir ris mrt to redhill mrt. On a good day, i can travel from redhill to pasir ris and then back again in one hour.Yes, that's exactly how bad it was, The train seemed to stop at every station for what seemed to be eternity.

I suppose things happen for a reason. In the midst of my impatience, as the train screeched to a halt almost every 30 seconds, I began to reflect on certain things that have been happening in my life this few days.

I think it's really common for someone to evaluate your own personal self and to list out your own strengths and weaknesses. So, I was on the train thinking about my various strengths and weaknesses that I have and I felt to say the very least, extremely inadequate. How can I possibly overcome certain areas in my life? Am I the right man for the job? Am i... Endless questions. Once again, God had an answer to my doubts again. I need to focus on God. The focus must never be on myself, or circumstances or even people. This things' fall victim to the world's current culture; they change all the time. But God doesn't. It seems that one of God's trademark moves isn't to use great, powerful and wise people to do his work(Of course, being great, wise and powerful is really great), God loves to use weak people. The weaker you think you are, the more God can use you. If I lack love, God will give me a double portion of his compassion. If I lack faith, I need to focus more on God. If I lack humility, I need to once again stand in awe of God's amazing grace and mercy.

I may not have much, but take this five loaves and two fish that I have, and use it for your glory.

1 Corinthians 1:26-29
Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are,

Walk The Talk

2009-02-24T09:03:00.000-08:00

Luke9:62
Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."

Conviction.

Swimming Lessons

2009-02-23T00:51:00.000-08:00

I realised something very cool about swimming lessons today. I was just talking to my sister about how her swimming lesson went, after she attended her first one today. A brief summary of the conversation.

Me: "Hey, so how was swimming? Did you learn how to swim already?"
Her: "No, not yet. I just learnt how to breathe underwater for the first session today."

Seems like she enjoyed her lesson. I was just thinking that swimming is very much similar to the kingdom of God. We start off our walk with God with the basics; learning how to say grace, pray, spending time with God, doing caregroup roles etc. But yet, God reminded me today of how important this so called basic steps are. Prayer, fasting, worship, reading the bible. The essentials of living a God-filled life. How much of this do I actually do? If i haven't been doing all this daily and faithfully, now is the time to start (especially since i have so much time now -.- lol)

They may be regarded as basic steps, but all this are determinants of how much we really desire and want to grow in God. I may have known Christ for some time, but if I don't have the desire to want to grow in Christ, to want to become more and more like Christ, then there isn't much meaning to everything that I do.

Psalm127:1
"Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain."

Increase this hunger and desire.

Random

2009-02-22T05:19:00.000-08:00

DON'T WORRY I'M NOT OUT OF MY MIND.

I decided that since I'm so bored and I have so much time. I decided to set up a blog. Let's hope that this won't be a dead blog. ANYWAY. Combined service yesterday was really great. Praise and worship given together in unity. Not because of anything, but because we need it and most of all you deserve it.

To top off a great day. Manchester United beat Blackburn 2-1. 8 points clear, catch us if you can!

Say it, Mean it, Do it